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Dating 20 years older man

Mike's eyes widened—and then he started revealing some deep stuff about himself, too.

He told me about how his best friend had died in a drowning accident in college, and how much that tragedy still affected him, six years later.

Three years ago, Mike and I met at a coworker's engagement party.

It wasn't until the next day that my friend revealed he was only 25.

I was pretty sure I was going to spend the rest of my life alone, and I'd made my peace with that.

I'd gone on enough dates that didn't lead anywhere—often with much more age-appropriate matches than Mike­—and I just didn't see the point in pretending we were something we weren't.

We adopted a dog together, which was a really big deal for me.

Whenever I thought about getting a pet, I'd always think, Mike helped me realize that none of those questions mattered—yes, it was good to know we could take care of her and had some stability, but that we'd always figure out a way to make things work. He obliged, and as we clinked glasses, I guessed he was in his early 30s. Meanwhile, I wanted to slide under the table and disappear. At the party, I flirted with the handsome man making a rum and coke in the kitchen, asking if he could whip one up for me, too.I got married in my early 20s and divorced a few years later.My experience, plus being friends with so many divorced women, has made me skeptical about love.We talk in terms of a permanent "we"—weshould buy a house, we want to live by the ocean at some point in our lives.That said, while I know our love is real, because of the age difference and kids question, we're both skittish about talking about the future in definite terms. But I am also Although it's cliché, he loves like he can't get hurt, and seeing that has taught me a lesson I needed to learn.When I tell him Mike he can't knowif he wants children, he thinks I'm being condescending and close-minded. But I went back and forth on the kids thing somany times in my 30s that I don't want him to shut a door he may want to open in the future.We've discussed marriage, but always in the abstract—like when we went to one of his friend's weddings, we imagined what our ceremony would look like.I made sure to regularly ask about whom he was dating, because I didn't want him to think I was interested.He would ask me to one-on-one dinners and drinks, and I'd suggest casual after-work beers instead.

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