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If they are not interested in doing the legwork, they're not the right person for you." Follow Metal on Twitter @Metalbond NYC, follow Amp @Pup_Amp, and follow Ruff @Ruffs Stuff Blog.

I'm a 28-year-old bi-curious female, and I ended a three-year straight LTR a month ago.

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Anytime anyone—top or bottom—wants to rush into a power-exchange scene, that's a red flag. A good-quality connection with any potential playmate is achieved only through communication.

"It's a site where you can create a profile, window-shop for a play buddy, and 'check his references.' Even better, if you can, go to a public event like IML, MAL, or CLAW, or to a play party like the New York Bondage Club, where you can participate in a monitored space with other people around, or just watch the action.

Don't forget the motto 'safe, sane, and consensual,' and be sure to have a safe word!

It's been tough—my ex is a great guy, and causing him pain has been a loss on top of my own loss, but I know I did the right thing.

Among other things, our sex life was bland and we had infrequent sex at best. He says he's open to my terms—open/fuck-buddy situation—but things have quickly become relationship-ish.

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