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My ex is dating a felon
Ask yourself these questions if you are wondering whether to date a man who has been in jail.
(Please note, I say “he” here, but your beloved ex-con can be of any gender or orientation.) 1. Did your potential boyfriend jaywalk and then talk back to a police officer, earning him a night in the jail?
You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to Ebony and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Abiola is also the creator of the African Goddess Affirmation Cards.
Find out exactly what the crime was before rushing to judgment.
Someone who littered and a person who commits murderer are two different people.
So you meet someone interesting, start dating and then he confesses to you that he has a prison record. One plot-line has the women trying to figure out whether they should continue to date shady convicts and ex-cons.
A few years ago, one of my reality TV guilty pleasures was the VH1 show “Mob Wives.” The hot buttered mess of a show follows a group of Staten Island women whose fathers, husbands and boyfriends are all currently or formerly incarcerated.
I see you shining and in a hot, happy, healthy relationship. — Catch up on Abiola’s Love Class Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams is the author of “The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love,” nominated for an African American Literary Award in self-help.
She gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve.Anyone who regularly causes trouble or acts out can put you in harm’s way. If your boyfriend is now 40 years old and he was a juvenile offender at age 15, you don’t want to necessarily hold this against him. Keep your wits about you, get the facts, and be open to hearing the whole story. Again, there is a big difference between someone spending the night in prison and a hardened criminal who just came home from a fifteen-year stint in the slammer. If he is still feel like things are everyone else’s fault, that is a bad sign. If you have even the slightest bit of doubt, then it is time bid your prison lover a fond adieu, especially if you have children. Is this person open and honest about what happened?Remember, rule number one is always that you deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship. Is the crime indicative of who they are now or who they were? If it is the latter, I would probably advise you to run. Evolved adults take responsibility for their lives and their actions. Has this person worked on removing the belief system that made them commit the crime to begin with? In the case of the woman who sent me the advice letter, her partner was not open or honest.However, the majority of black men are not criminals.It seems ridiculous to have to state this but I wanted to be clear.While our objective is not to judge, we want you to have a sense of security.You deserve to feel good in love and be safe in all ways — mentally, spiritually and physically.The most important thing to know is that empowered women know that they are worthy of being loved by honest and positive men.You deserve to have someone in your life who makes your life better, not worse.American prisons are largely about punishment, not redemption. A man who is not honest about his past will probably be dishonest about other things as well. Don’t ever introduce anyone to your children until you know who they really are.Always run a full criminal background check no matter what they say.